Another insightful installment from our favorite field feminist!

-By Louixsie Doyle

When you think of feminism, no matter how often or rarely that may be, any number of things may come to mind.  Feminism defined is simply a lens that opens your eyes to gender inequalities around you; it is quite likely, however, that the negative stereotypes that dismiss feminists as man-haters have made an impression on you already.  Last week I briefly discussed the f-word, but but just as important as feminism are the tenets of femin-isn’t:

Feminism doesn’t dictate how you groom or dress.  Feminists are averse to shaving, so the myth goes.  While many feminists won’t shy away from a razor or lacerate you with body hair, feminism does open your mind up to question why you feel compelled to partake in the beauty routine you may otherwise subconsciously perform every morning.        Where does it say that women are expected to shave themselves to a point to prepubescent purity?  Does what you’re wearing truly reflect your idea of sexy or attractive, or does it look eerily similar to what the girl next to you is wearing?

Feminists don’t hate men.  Certain feminist subcultures, like subsets of radical feminism, lesbian separatism and riot grrrl, place importance on giving women, as Virginia Woolf would call it, “a room of their own.”  To a degree, this creed can maintain an attitude of gender equality: as a social minority group, women may deserve a separate space to better highlight their achievements and experiences.  But taken too far, this becomes a muddled femin-isn’t.  Feminism is about equality of the sexes—it goes against its very definition to demand women be placed higher than men.  Some of the fiercest advocates of gendered change are men and trans individuals.  While feminists may disagree on the need for women-only “safe” spaces, trans and cis men are never to be excluded as feminists.

Feminism isn’t about universally adoring every female you meet. Additionally, while men are not the enemy of feminism, not all women are ready to become feminists.  This becomes a frustrating concept for anyone who has absorbed the lessons of any basic women’s studies lecture—after all, women are paid less than men, don’t have full control over their reproductive bodies, comprise more than half the reported cases of HIV globally, are trafficked in 135+ countries including the United States (notoriously through the tri-state area), make up 70% of the world’s poor and two-thirds of the world’s illiterate population, have their histories ignored in many college courses, and are at an increased likelihood of being sexually assaulted, abused by their partner and developing an eating disorder.  Unfortunately, not only are women largely oppressed as a group but this potential community is further fragmented by social standards that promote girl-hate and competition.  Feminism doesn’t condone nasty girl behavior, nor does it condemn nice boy behavior.  Riot grrrls of the 1990s advocated for a utopian notion of platonic “girl-love.”  Although other feminists have been able to appreciate the idealistic simplicity of this idea, it’s also unrealistic to assume you will form a sisterhood with every female you meet.

Feminists aren’t all lesbians.  Just as feminism doesn’t require that you platonically love all women, it doesn’t require that you romantically or sexually love them either.  It is a tired stereotype that all feminists are lesbians.  Misogyny, defined as the hatred of women, may be practiced by anyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation.  Not all feminists are lesbians and not all lesbians are feminists.  Being surrounded by strong women or learning to appreciate all the facets of sexuality may expose you to lesbianism or even bring you to new conclusions about your own sexuality, but many feminists are still in happy, fulfilling, equal relationships with men.

Feminists don’t burn bras.  This myth stemmed from the 1968 Miss American pageant.  A radical feminist group from New York City protesting the racism and sexism within the contest created a “Freedom Trash Can” and tossed away items of oppression (including high heels, false eyelashes, girdles, curlers, corsets, pornographic magazines and, yes, bras).  No fire permit was acquired and no flames or bras were ignited.

Feminists aren’t humorless.  Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, NBC’s line-up darlings, have boldly reclaimed the F-Word on national television and still manage to pull in high ratings with critically acclaimed “30 Rock” and “Parks and Recreation.”  Even the “most trusted name in news,” The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, lacked a recurring segment on women’s issues until Kristen Schaal stepped in.  Elizabeth Banks and Jane Lynch have both broken into boys’ club films with impeccable comedic timing that rival Jude Appatow’s and Christopher Guest’s circles.  Roseanne Barr brought in accolades during her self-titled Roseanne’s decade on television, ranging from making #1 on the Nielsen ratings to breaking into the top 25 of “TV Guide’s Greatest 100 Episodes of All Time.”  On the margins of feminist humor, you can find indie favorite Carrie Brownstein’s teasing homage to hipster mecca Portland, in “Portlandia.”  And Margaret Cho and Wanda Sykes fearlessly dissect subjects with shrewd criticism even taboo among older generations of feminists, like race and sexual intersectionalities.

Feminism isn’t a white, upper-middle-class woman’s issue.  The more socially conservative liberal feminist movement of the 1970s ostracized women of color, transsexuals and lesbians, and women who didn’t conform to their particular perspective.  In light of this, contemporary feminism has been especially conscientious of integrating the myriad experiences of women.

Feminism won’t judge you for your personal choices.  This includes everything from your decision to carry a fetus to term or get an abortion, becoming a housewife, pursuing a doctorate, joining the army, being straight/lesbian/gay/bisexual/queer, changing your sex to match your gender or simply deciding to take another drink, wear that skirt (or pants) because it makes you feel attractive and go home alone or with someone new.  As long as you believe men and women deserve equality, you’re a feminist.  Congratulations!