By, Levon Syers
(April Fools Edition)
Earlier this week, North Korea released yet another propaganda video advocating the invasion of the United States, only further adding to the tension that already exists between the two countries.
The original videos, which were released earlier last month, advocated actions such as nuclear strikes against the U.S., which would be done in retaliation for its involvement in the Korean War.
Since then, more videos have surfaced on YouTube that further depict aggressive acts toward the U.S. The videos are designed to incite anti-American sentiment among North Korean citizens, while simultaneously promoting nationalism by showing off the capabilities of their newly discovered computer-generated imagery (CGI).
“Fictionalized” scenes within these videos often depict scenarios such as the White House being blown up, American troops being defeated in battle and nuclear missiles circling the Earth five times or so in order to plunge into the middle of the Gulf of Mexico (I’m just describing what I’ve witnessed).
The images and graphics used in these videos have supposedly been recycled from movies including Independence Day, Deep Impact, Armageddon and Men in Black — all apocalyptic-themed movies created in the mid-1990s, which North Korea has just now acquired via carrier pigeon and string.
North Korea obtains all of their information and supplies from the outside world by using carrier pigeon, which is extinct everywhere else except North Korea (that’s positive, right?).
Currently, each video has over 25 million “likes” on YouTube, which coincidentally is the approximate population of North Korea. Each citizen was made to like the video at gunpoint at his or her local viewing booths. Their reward was that they were able to remain under gunpoint.
The real reason behind this new form of hatred stemming from the North Korean government is due to the lack of the U.S. citizens’ interest in North Korean mass entertainment, such as choreographed dances involving thousands of citizens against their will.
To add insult to injury, the recent success of such South Korean pop stars such as PSY and his hit single “Gangnam Style” in the United States, and Kim Jong-il’s son’s embrace of Eric Clapton’s music made North Koreans all but ready to use under budgeted CGI to blow up the rest of the world.
North Korea has a “closed-market” music industry, meaning that most of the music and entertainment created in that country cannot be accessed from outside sources.
Apart from saving certain species from extinction, North Korea also has a 99 percent literacy rate: they all know how to read the name of Kim Jong-un.
Though the future pertaining to who will lead North Korea after Kim Jong-il’s death is still uncertain, they did manage to construct a giant bronze statue in reverence for their late leader.
In order to honor his passion for movies such as Rambo and the James Bond series, North Korea also constructed bronze statues of Sylvester Stallone and Sean Connery, which are shown hoisting the late leader up in celebration of his greatness.
In spite of all of this April Foolery, I am still quite concerned as to the intention of these videos and the actions North Korea are advocating currently amongst themselves. If we could only send a carrier pigeon over to them to let them know we’re sorry for not liking Kim Jong-il’s musical compositions, then perhaps all of this could have been averted.
Just to recap, if you too want to influence a mass population to share a certain sentiment through visual manipulation, follow these steps: 1. Go into your parent’s attic. 2: Grab all of the VHS tapes that they own. 3. Force one of your graphic artist friends to frantically learn how the effects used in those VHS tapes can be applied to create a YouTube video, (either by gunpoint or with candy). 4. Obtain carrier pigeons. 5. Send the video to the bowels of the Internet and/or North Korea. 5. Create bronze statue of either yourself, Kim Jong-il, Sylvester Stallone or Sean Conner