I grew up outside the empty crack-pipe filled streets of Newark, N.J., the Brick City.

During my early teen years, being called “gay” or a “faggot” was one of the most embarrassing insults there was.

So you can imagine how someone in early adolescence, just trying to fit in, would want to avoid being affiliated with this label.

I’m not homophobic; I’m just trying to explain what it was like when I was 14. I really didn’t know much about homosexuality except for what rap songs and immature guys talking in the freshman locker rooms taught me.

Unfortunately, that feeling of uneasiness and embarrassment around gay people stayed with me until my early 20’s.

I never understood what it meant to be an ally to the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender community.

Things have changed a lot since I was that misinformed, skinny kid in high school.

The University LGBT Center website defines an ally as, “a person who supports and honors sexual diversity, acts accordingly to challenge homophobic and heterosexist remarks and behaviors, and is willing to explore and understand these forms of bias within him or herself.”

To get deeper behind these words, I found myself at Montclair State’s first ever presentation of The Coming Out Monologues, a showcase of presentations where LGBT students share their personal stories and read other people’s about their sexuality.

“The fact is, it doesn’t matter what you look like, who you are, if you’re gay — you have to be proud and other people will be proud of you because of it,” said Lauren Rohan, a theater major who performed her personal story of coming out as a lesbian in front of a crowded lecture room in University Hall.

Rohan dedicated her performance to four gay martyrs, including Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old student who was beaten to death because he was gay.

Living Out Proud, a documentary made by a Montclair State graduate student about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students and faculty on campus, was also screened.

These were the stories of every day people that I passed daily on campus, and had no indication of their sexual orientation.

For every 10 Americans, four have a close friend or relative that is gay, according to The Pew Research Center.

The Mont-clair State LGBT Center, which opened its doors this past January, estimates that ten percent of the nation identifies as LGBT.

“To be an ally is to not be afraid to be perceived as part of the community,” explained Amie MacMath, program assistant for the LGBT Center.

So it’s not enough for me to say, “I’m not a gay person, but I’m cool with gay people”?

According to MacMath’s and the LGBT community’s perspective, it’s not.

Sitting there hearing other people’s true stories and experiences made me realize that there are privileges and responsibilities a straight ally owes to the LGBT community.

Have I ever stood up to someone who used the word “faggot” in a homophobic or heterosexist way?

If I’m talking to or about an LGBT person or issue, do I have to always preface what I say with, “I’m straight.”?

“[To be an ally] means to really know and learn about this community and engross yourself in the culture so you can truly understand,” MacMath said.

The walls that were built by ignorance during my adolescent years started to crumble.

Rohan exuded a sense of purpose in her monologue and I felt proud to witness it, whereas the week before, I would hide this pride.

The experience gave me a deeper understanding of LGBT people and issues.

I’m proud of this university for the efforts it’s made for LGBT causes.

I’m proud of students, faculty, friends and relatives that are not afraid of their sexuality.

I’m proud to be an ally to the LGBT community.

Gerald Flores