Spring Break
If you give me 43 minutes of your time - I'll give you 43 years of my life! It took me 43 years to write a book on college success. Why 43 years? Before I wrote the book, I had to do some research. Forty-three years of research. First I was an undergraduate student, then a grad student and finally a professor.
It's a common dilemma. You are watching your weight, but you want to go out for some drinks. You'd like to have a good time without worrying about alcohol ruining your diet. What do you do? Even though alcohol is usually strictly forbidden on diets, there are ways to party and have some fun without breaking the calorie bank.
They help you pass the time with their mediocre good looks as the subject of you constant class daydreams. But what exactly is a bored class crush - or BCC - and do you even have one? What happens when things are going great, and then there's the dreadful day of seeing your BCC out of your normal boring classroom environment? Here are some helpful tips to help you along the way so you and your BCC can live happily ever after (in your dreams, anyway).
Well endowed, you say? Funny, I didn't know I had any dates planned this week. (Cue pre-recorded studio laughter.) In any event, it seems as if you have quite the, well, large problem on your hands (for lack of a better term). As we fight our way through the inevitable jungle of puns that await us, allow us here at the laboratories of "He Said, She Said" to opine on a subject that I have intimate knowledge of.
UAASO held their fifth annual Date Auction on Tuesday night in the Student Center Ballrooms. Despite inclement weather on the Montclair campus and a lower-than-expected turnout, the event turned out to be UAASO's most successful to date. Throughout the night, $826 was raised to benefit DAWN, the Domestic Abuse Women's Network.
In response to your timely query, Ms. Phallophobic, I must pull a Karl and refer to two irrelevant stories. The first is the story of Mr. Hands, the horny man who had sex with a horse and lost his life. The second is of a man who lost his penis in the reverse exchange for one of a dead person.
The strictest English teacher will tell his or her students never to use a double negative, always to put an "s" at the end of a regular verb in the third person and never to use the word "be" in its raw form with a subject. Those teachers are stressing the importance of formal Standard English, a highly important language to be able to use successfully to function in the modern American world.