2008 Woodie Awards
The Sports Guy
Which MSU Teams Will Make the playoffs
Jose Ortiz
Issue date: 10/9/03 Section: Sports
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The Sports Guy was born on the baseball diamond, raised running the football field, baptized with a soccer ball, and de-virginized by a cheerleader. He is sports, and sports is him. This week, The Sports Guy wants to turn his attention to you, his loving fans at MSU. October is rolling along, and we are in midseason for most of our fall sports. So this week, The Sports Guy will examine which teams will be playing in the post season, and which teams are going home early.
The Sports Guy is going to talk about the teams that are definitely out. The first team, the MSU women's volleyball team. Their current record is 7 - 22, which translates in a .241 winning percentage, and gives them a seventh place ranking. So what's the problem? You could start with their seventh place ranking in kills, and assists. Or you could move to the fact that in all six statistical categories, MSU ranks lower than fifth in all but one, including dead last in digs. This has translated into the volleyball team posting almost four times more losses than victories. The Sports Guy says they lose more than Enron stockholders, and the playoffs are about as likely them as J. Lo being happily married. Improbable and impossible, the Sports Guy doesn't think so, maybe next season, but then again, maybe not.
The Sports Guy says the next team making an early exit is the women's tennis team. Now the Sports Guy understands that they have a young team still growing, and learning. But for right now, they are on the verge of their first losing season in 12 years. The Sports Guy says that now they play like a bunch of Kournikova's with nothing but "love" for you. Still the Sports Guy likes this team to do things in the years to come. Sophomores Ashley Tomesko and Eva Salierno who have a combined record of 16 - 6, look primed to lead this team into its former glory days. As for the present, the playoffs are about as distant as Siberia.
The Sports Guy will now turn his attention to the teams who are definitely in. Starting with the Women's Field Hockey squad. They are currently ranked tenth in the nation. The Sports Guy says this team is hungry, that showed after they upset TCNJ in the closing seconds of double OT. Lose is not a word in a hungry team's vocabulary. They win with a high powered offense led by Sarah "The Tiny Terror" Levine, and Megan Ulicny. The Sports Guy says these two go together like peas and carrots, or peanut butter and jelly. Those two combined with a balanced defense make them the Sports Guy's most definite team to advance.
The Sports Guy is going to talk about the teams that are definitely out. The first team, the MSU women's volleyball team. Their current record is 7 - 22, which translates in a .241 winning percentage, and gives them a seventh place ranking. So what's the problem? You could start with their seventh place ranking in kills, and assists. Or you could move to the fact that in all six statistical categories, MSU ranks lower than fifth in all but one, including dead last in digs. This has translated into the volleyball team posting almost four times more losses than victories. The Sports Guy says they lose more than Enron stockholders, and the playoffs are about as likely them as J. Lo being happily married. Improbable and impossible, the Sports Guy doesn't think so, maybe next season, but then again, maybe not.
The Sports Guy says the next team making an early exit is the women's tennis team. Now the Sports Guy understands that they have a young team still growing, and learning. But for right now, they are on the verge of their first losing season in 12 years. The Sports Guy says that now they play like a bunch of Kournikova's with nothing but "love" for you. Still the Sports Guy likes this team to do things in the years to come. Sophomores Ashley Tomesko and Eva Salierno who have a combined record of 16 - 6, look primed to lead this team into its former glory days. As for the present, the playoffs are about as distant as Siberia.
The Sports Guy will now turn his attention to the teams who are definitely in. Starting with the Women's Field Hockey squad. They are currently ranked tenth in the nation. The Sports Guy says this team is hungry, that showed after they upset TCNJ in the closing seconds of double OT. Lose is not a word in a hungry team's vocabulary. They win with a high powered offense led by Sarah "The Tiny Terror" Levine, and Megan Ulicny. The Sports Guy says these two go together like peas and carrots, or peanut butter and jelly. Those two combined with a balanced defense make them the Sports Guy's most definite team to advance.