2008 Woodie Awards
The Sports Guy
Who's Up, Who's Down? Who's in, Who's Out?
Jose Ortiz
Issue date: 9/23/04 Section: Sports
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This is The Sports Guy, and he approves this message.
Well sportlings, it's been such an exciting time in sports since The Sports Guy last graced you with his pearls of wisdom, that he doesn't even know where to start.
Let us begin with this NHL lockout. The average salary in the NHL is just over $1.7 million per year. The Sports Guy doesn't understand: how much money do the athletes need to make in order, to play a game that most fans would gladly play for free? If you removed one million from that salary, the players would still be making more than the president of the United States! Not that monkeys in office deserve to make so much anyway.
What is the argument about? If there is more money to be made, why not give it back to the people who pay all of their bills anyway, and lower ticket prices? Yeah right, The Sports Guy says there's a better chance of a democracy in Iraq!
The Sports Guy says that it's a shame that the women's soccer team isn't getting paid for losses. At the rate they're going they would have made a fortune by now. After losing their first four games scoring a total of one goal, they finally notched a victory against William Paterson. The Sports Guy hates being wrong, but he thinks he may have been concerning the Women's soccer team. He thought they would terrorize the New Jersey Athletic Conference, but maybe they don't have any weapons of mass destruction after all.
The NJAC is at the dawn of a new era in field hockey. The rise of this team has been led by the steady coaching of Beth Gottung, team captain Erin Balint, and a defense that has held it's opponents to just nine scores in eight games. But beneath it all, like a phoenix risen from it's own ashes, a new star has emerged. Freshman Jennifer Tanis is leading her team in points and goals, picking up right where Levine and Ulicny left them.
The Sports Guy isn't wrong often, but he's willing to admit when he has made a mistake. The Sports Guy had the field hockey team not even winning the ECAC's, nevermind being at the forefront of a battle for NJAC supremacy. The Sports Guy said they couldn't do it because they lost too many players, and now they're ranked as the number six team in the nation.
Well sportlings, it's been such an exciting time in sports since The Sports Guy last graced you with his pearls of wisdom, that he doesn't even know where to start.
Let us begin with this NHL lockout. The average salary in the NHL is just over $1.7 million per year. The Sports Guy doesn't understand: how much money do the athletes need to make in order, to play a game that most fans would gladly play for free? If you removed one million from that salary, the players would still be making more than the president of the United States! Not that monkeys in office deserve to make so much anyway.
What is the argument about? If there is more money to be made, why not give it back to the people who pay all of their bills anyway, and lower ticket prices? Yeah right, The Sports Guy says there's a better chance of a democracy in Iraq!
The Sports Guy says that it's a shame that the women's soccer team isn't getting paid for losses. At the rate they're going they would have made a fortune by now. After losing their first four games scoring a total of one goal, they finally notched a victory against William Paterson. The Sports Guy hates being wrong, but he thinks he may have been concerning the Women's soccer team. He thought they would terrorize the New Jersey Athletic Conference, but maybe they don't have any weapons of mass destruction after all.
The NJAC is at the dawn of a new era in field hockey. The rise of this team has been led by the steady coaching of Beth Gottung, team captain Erin Balint, and a defense that has held it's opponents to just nine scores in eight games. But beneath it all, like a phoenix risen from it's own ashes, a new star has emerged. Freshman Jennifer Tanis is leading her team in points and goals, picking up right where Levine and Ulicny left them.
The Sports Guy isn't wrong often, but he's willing to admit when he has made a mistake. The Sports Guy had the field hockey team not even winning the ECAC's, nevermind being at the forefront of a battle for NJAC supremacy. The Sports Guy said they couldn't do it because they lost too many players, and now they're ranked as the number six team in the nation.